February 2012
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We walk in mystery like the night. Of cunty climes and snarky skies. And all...
– …
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It’s about this town and they have a super hero named Sportacus that lives...
– Kboner on The Lazy Town, aka that kid’s show that made that pirate song.
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GPS
While I would consider myself an early adopter when it comes to every other form of technology, I still fucking hate GPS devices. Give me paper directions, or give me death.
(Which will probably come from panicking and turning into a bus or something.)
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Freudian Slip
Continually typing “shuttle” as “shittle.”
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I feel completely validated.
alpha-lima-lima replied to your post: At this point I’m just not reading The Hunger Games out of some kind of ill-conceived spite and contrariness.
Eh, it’s not that great.
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At this point I'm just not reading The Hunger...
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Signs of Aging
Your ego starts to deflate. You get to be more comfortable in your own skin (even if you’re more aware of your shortcomings) and there’s just this amazing, freeing feeling of absolutely not giving a shit what everybody else thinks of you.
Basically, going from “I’m awesome because other people think so” to “I really like myself, and maybe a few other people...
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"Music" is nobody's favorite Madonna song.
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Real Talk
Does anybody actually buy Pepsi?
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I Finally Read The Marriage Plot and Was Confused
romanceclub:
The Marriage Plot, by Jeffrey Eugenides
I actually finally read it, can you believe it?
This is a book that is a bit difficult to approach, for two reasons:
1. There was a huge critical response when it was first published, which is what happens after a Pulitzer-Prize-winning author publishes his first book in ten years. A lot of people loved it, a lot of people hated it, and The...
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January 2012
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Moonstruck
This is a perfect movie.
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That Awkward Moment
Where you really want to break it down and sing really loud to “Living for the City” by Stevie Wonder but you suddenly realize how depressing it actually it is.
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Hey Girl
I love it when you can’t let a meme go even when it’s been beaten the death, set on fire, and its ashes have been sprinkled across my dash.
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Eating At Home
Dear Morally Superior Home Chefs,
I know that cooking dinner at home is healthier and less expensive than eating out. Most times when I eat something I’ve made myself (particularly if it’s very starchy, like pasta, or it has a lot of cheese, like chili with a lot of cheese on top), I’m very happy with it.
But Jesus Christ I am so fucking hungry right now and I despise the...
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Recommended: Zappos App for iPhone
I bought a pair of shoes through the Zappos app on the way to work today. The filtering system is great, browsing is fast and easy, and when you add something to your cart, a kitten holding on to an umbrella FLIES OVER THE CART and drops whatever you ordered in.
And I’m a VIP (jealous?) so there was a shower of gold coins when I logged in.
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Work Ethic
I’ve come to realize that my work habits at my old job were something like this:
Roll in
Fuck around on the internet for an hour
Do work while keeping Facebook and Dashboard tabs open
Eat lunch and fuck around on the internet
Do work while keeping Facebook and Dashboard tabs open
Fuck around on the internet for another hour
Complain that I’m underappreciated
Leave
At my new...
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Smells, Part 2
wellofcromulence:
I would have no problem with perfumes or colognes if they smelled like bacon. I seriously suspect the guy in front of me is either hiding bacon in his coat or he has found the most wonderful cologne of all time. I may ask him to marry me before this train ride ends.
It turned out it was a woman across the aisle with four buckets of KFC Chicken. I don’t even care, that...
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Smells, Part 2
I would have no problem with perfumes or colognes if they smelled like bacon. I seriously suspect the guy in front of me is either hiding bacon in his coat or he has found the most wonderful cologne of all time. I may ask him to marry me before this train ride ends.
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Revenge of the Naans
wellofcromulence:
Melinda: you can go on and naan and naan with naan puns
Jayne: HEE. THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT
Melinda: PUNS ON THE FLY. THAT’S MY STYLEEEE
Jayne: PUNS NAAN THE FLY
Melinda: you say naan puns are groaners? naansense.
Jayne: NAANSTOP PUNS
Melinda: omnaanpresent
Jayne: GIVE ME A NAANSTOP FLIGHT TO INDIA
Melinda: I’M NAAN IT
Jayne: I’M LIKE LOU REED. WAITING ON MY NAAAN
...
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Excuse Me
I’m just having a love affair with my rainy day commute right now. Broody music, books, and the first precipitation in two months is making me feel pretty zen.
As is the fact that BART is driving straight through the panicked rain traffic.
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Have you guys seen Serial Mom?
If you hadn’t it would be pretty awkward if I just barged in here and said “IS THIS THE COCKSUCKER RESIDENCE?”
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Smells
I’m just going to go on the record and say that I hate the way 99% of fragrances smell. EVERY. SINGLE. perfume has this powdery floral note that makes me want to throw up all over the entire world. And if this bitch on the work shuttle keeps wearing it, that very well might happen.
I don’t know what’s fair and what’s unfair when it comes to smells, since I realize that...
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filigrees:
spring is bringing me gifts, sort of. jayne and kelly are visiting la (for the first time ever! gasp.) in march and i am so excited and kind of nervous but mostly excited. we’re all staying at a little motel right next to melrose and animal and and and and we’re going to have a mini francesca lia block/weetzie bat tour. and probably cook dinner with all my friends and eat cheese from...
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I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t...
– Henry Rollins
i think i’ve probably posted this before. i know everyone does at some point. it’s just so right on.
(via filigrees)
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You Might Have Drank Too Much Last Night If
When you wake up in the morning, you check all social networking sites and credit card activity to make sure there’s no completely outlandish activity.
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Woo Woo
I don’t believe in signs or omens, but I still find myself looking for them everywhere. The other day, I decided that a particularly seedy orange was a sign of trouble coming. Pretending that songs that come up on shuffle are predicting the future, that kind of thing.
That said, I am pretty certain that finding a forward-facing seat as soon as I got on the train and having a clear enough...
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"Ruse," Alternately Titled "Boring Anecdotes from...
It’s been a looooooong day. Dave texted me when I arrived at the train station asking where I was. I told him.
He texted back: “I couldn’t figure out how to cook the chicken. And the rice seemed complicated. And I didn’t want to cut an onion. Late dinner?”
I almost started crying, until I figured that this was SUSPICIOUSLY JERKY.
Sure enough, my house is sparkling...