December 2011
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Double Feature of Crap: Clash of the Titans (new...
Why do I do this to myself why can’t I just go to bed.
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2011 Recap
Went to Las Vegas with my favorite ladies
Moved 2300 miles
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I took the job.
Starting Tuesday.
Job search: started November 2, officially over December 29. For now, at least.
Thanks to everybody for their patience and support.
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This Week in Cromulence
Frantic Christmas shopping Frantic cleaning of house Frantic grocery shopping New job prospect Phone interview Parents arrive Parents ferried around San Francisco Christmas food cooked Christmas food eaten Christmas Parents taken on various hikes, walks, and drives Parents ferried around San Francisco Parents taken to Muir Woods Parents taken to Sausalito Parents leave Post-houseguest cleaning Go...
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That Awkward Moment
When you’re 30 minutes early for a job interview because public transportation was unexpectedly seamless.
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NO HOUSEGUESTS FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE
THIS IS SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE!
And by “celebrate” I mean have one drink and not talk to anybody for at least two hours and go to bed at like 8 PM.
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My favorite holiday tradition is not going to...
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Glad Tidings to Me
I woke up this morning at 7:30 AM to find my mom making pastry cream for our holiday trifle, Dave getting the Christmas Eve gumbo started, my dad returning from a giant walk with Oscar (who is behaving like a sweet Christmas lamb as a result), and an Amazon gift card in my inbox.
My house is filled with food and sweets and my tree is beautiful and there are so many wonderful things piled...
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“What is ‘The Franchise’? Is that a Jersey Shore character?”
– Dave
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Happy Holidays from the Cromulence Family!
My dad, Dave, and I are all engaged in a battle for the highest score in the iPhone game Temple Run while my mom watched No Reservations and pretends we’re not weirdos.
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This is far more amusing than anything I had to...
blueandbluer replied to your post: Rufus Wainwright
I’m just amused by the fact that I cannot say his name properly. Italways comes out as “Woofus.”
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Rufus Wainwright
Wait, why did we all decide that “bored whine-singing” because there was a point where I liked him and now I’m listening to his version of “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve” and I want to set his recording contract on fire but I’m lulled into submission by his complete dullness.
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As certainly as love and generosity and devotion...
There still is no Santa Claus.
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This Morning in Disappointments and Excitements
Disappointments
1. I have not yet figured out that while I love draft beer, draft beer does not love me.
2. Asking for commute advice regarding two different job options and being told “You should consider moving!”
Excitements
1. My parents will be here today! Holiday time!
2. I am working on a couple of different job things!
3. There is literally a brown paper package tied...
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Holiday Groceries
Dave and I just hit Safeway and Whole Foods. Among our treasures:
A nice-ish bottle of port (because it’s Christmas!)
A Bota Box
raspberries
Brussels sprouts
butternut squash
whoopie pies (a reward for grocery shopping)
chocolate pita chips (just okay)
chips and snacks
andouille sausage (Dave’s cookin’ up some Christmas Eve gumbo)
IPA for my dad (and us)
three pints...
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Curing the Unemployment Doldrums
Here’s what’s helped me today:
Making plans to attend a West Side Story sing-a-long in the Castro next week
Starting my rehearsals for said sing-a-long
Getting a phone call from another recruiter and telling him the truth, which is that I’m in an interview process with another company, thus spurring him into hasty action and I’m hoping that the final step in this game is...
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“So, have a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a cwazy Kwanzaa, a tip-top Tet and...”
– Krusty the Clown (via ladyfabulous)
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Unemployment, Part 783
Becoming depressed because you feel bored and useless, then unable to do anything because you’re depressed.
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Merry Nerd Christmas to Me
You all call yourselves nerds, but did you just buy yourself a special collector’s edition book of video game lore? Did your nerdy little brother say that such a purchase was “A 10 on the Nerd Scale. Which goes to 10.” Are you excited about the frayed pages, which will make it even more like an ancient nerd tome? Are you planning on wrapping it up and labeling it “To Jayne,...
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My baby was very upset he didn't get cast as Baby...
Me: Baby, I know you're passionate about the role, but the other baby looked more like Mary - both Redheads. What are the odds?! Don't ruin your friendship with that other baby by not going to the show because your pride got in the way.
My Baby: DAD! Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say "Pride will tear us both apart!"
Me: What? I guess so. It's just a Christmas Pageant -
My Baby: Well now pride's gone out the window. Cross the rooftops! Run away! Left me in the vacuum of my heart.
Me: Seriously, baby. I'm trying to be supportive here. What's happening to you? You're being even more ridiculous than usual.
My Baby: What is happening to me? Crazy, some would say! Where is my Dad when I need you most? Gone away!
Me: I'm right here! Baby, please stop crying. Anyway, at least consider playing the ox. I know it's not the starring role but it's still important!
My Baby: OK Dad. I won't cry for yesterday. There's an ordinary role, somehow I have to find. And as I try to make my way through this ordinary role, I will learn to survive.
Me: ...Great.
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Songs I've Been Singing to My Dog
“Do They Know It’s Oscar Dog at All?” And there won’t be snow on Oscar pup this Christmas The greatest gift he’ll get this year is treats La la la la mumble mumble something something DO THEY KNOW IT’S OSCAR DOG AT AAAALLL
“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Oscar” It’s beginning to look a lot like Oscar Eeeeverywhere he sheds
...
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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave...
a wine box that’s filled with Burgundy.
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pileofmonkeys:
OH GOD NOT FREESIA
I HAD A GINGHAM APRON
Body spray was life
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“Apparently the special snowflake generation has really just become a pile of...”
– Megan
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What I'm Not Giving This Christmas: A Single Fuck
I had a really long entry about how I was worried about job stuff and getting ready for my parents’ visit, and it listed all the things that I’d done and all I have left to do, and I erased it all because seriously, all I want this Christmas is to just stop worrying until January 2.
I’ve got a pot of chili on the stove and a Dr. Strangelove on Blu-ray and I’m going to...
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Unemployment, Part 2349
Well, this sure has been an exciting morning of sitting around in my sweaty workout clothes trying to find a compelling reason to take a shower. I’m kind of at that stage where “Because you’re disgusting and would like to maintain the barest minimum of standards in functionality” is less persuasive than “Oh hey let’s see if I can think of blogs that I used to...
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Christmas Music
I’ve had a busy week filled with people and therefore NOT filled with the opportunity for much Christmas music. My husband despises almost all holiday music, so at home I’m limited to whatever New Orleans Christmas album he digs up on Spotify, or James Brown’s Funky Christmas. While cooking or wrapping presents, I’ve been re-listening to my favorite holiday episodes of This...
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Name Change
Jayne is out. Janye seems so in right now.
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The Vegetables Are a Lie
Monday, I had lobster bisque, steak frites, red wine, and lemon torte for lunch with Lia. For dinner, we got Chicago-style deep-dish pizza because we’re hedonists. And then ate Bouchon Bakery cookies for dessert. The next day I felt fine.
Last night, I took my sister’s cruncy vegan ass out to Millennium, where I found two delicious salady things on the menu, so I ordered them both. I...