Posts tagged candy

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Posted 2 months ago
Dave brought me some candy from the coffee shop. And an herbal tea. And he shared his burger with me at lunch because my sandwich wasn’t very good. He also got bagels this morning.  Zoom

Dave brought me some candy from the coffee shop. And an herbal tea. And he shared his burger with me at lunch because my sandwich wasn’t very good. He also got bagels this morning. 

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Posted 4 months ago
When I was a little kid, the specialty chocolate shop sold these perfect little sour gummy hearts at Valentine’s Day. I loved them so much that the owner hid the last bag for me before they totally sold out. I saw them in the overpriced European-style market in my neighborhood this evening, and it turns out that nostalgia is worth every penny. Zoom

When I was a little kid, the specialty chocolate shop sold these perfect little sour gummy hearts at Valentine’s Day. I loved them so much that the owner hid the last bag for me before they totally sold out.

I saw them in the overpriced European-style market in my neighborhood this evening, and it turns out that nostalgia is worth every penny.

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Posted 9 months ago
So there’s a Powell’s within walking distance … Zoom

So there’s a Powell’s within walking distance …

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Posted 10 months ago

I think I just chipped a tooth on a Tootsie Pop.

What the fuck, how did I ever make it to adulthood. 

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Posted 1 year ago

How I know I am a sick, strange individual

I just ate a bunch of Nerds. I feel sort of like I might throw up.

My first thought? “Oh man, that would be colorful!”

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Posted 1 year ago

CANDY CANDY CANDY!

The AV Club goes to the 2010 Sweets & Snacks Expo.

If they sampled the Gummy Venus de Milo, they did not mention it. 

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Posted 2 years ago
GUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH (thanks to phototherapy)

GUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH

(thanks to phototherapy)

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Posted 2 years ago
Thinking of you, morninggloria. These things are THE SHIT. 

Thinking of you, morninggloria. These things are THE SHIT. 

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Posted 2 years ago

Plan

Dave is going out of town for Memorial Day weekend for his annual Breaux Trip (they’re all from New Orleans and sort of gay). I’m home alone.

So I’m going to get my little brother in town, buy a bucket of Sour Patch Kids, and see every single big-budget shitty action movie that is coming out this spring. Robin Hood, Prince of Persia, Iron Man 2, ALL OF THEM. 

And then I’m going to con some other lady into seeing Sex and the City 2. With a flask. 

Have fun camping, Dave! I’ve got a date with beefy men and exploding things. 

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Posted 2 years ago

Necco Wafers

I decided to buy some candy because I felt sorry for myself. The drugstore was out of Sweetarts, so I thought Necco Wafers would be an acceptable compromise. I used to like them, so good choice, right?

WRONG. This shit is fucking GROSS. They taste like cloves, chalk, and ass. Who the fuck is buying these things? 

I had to stop at a gas station on the way home to buy Sweetarts. This made me feel even sorrier for myself. 

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Posted 2 years ago

Ways I Am Celebrating Good Friday

Painting my nails (dressin’ up for Jesus!)

Cleaning my house (my house has been resurrected from dirtiness)

Buying and consuming a bag of Starburst jellybeans (Jesus died for my calories)

Going to Outback Steakhouse (I have a gift card and enjoy eating meat on Fridays during Lent. Take that, religious upbringing!)

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Posted 2 years ago

FACT: Piñatas are candy experts

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Posted 2 years ago

I do not like Cadbury Creme Eggs.

I’m not saying my opinion is the only opinion on candy, just the definitive one. 

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Posted 2 years ago
Call it sacrilegious (I prefer “sacrilicious!”), but I like Starburst Jelly Beans better than Jelly Bellies. What they lack in variety they more than make up in consistency. Because you’re lying if if you say you like Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellies, that shit is NAST. TRUST ME, I AM A CANDY EXPERT.  The whole reason for this post is I bought some Starburst Jelly Beans on Friday night and they’re gone now and holy shit do I want more Starburst Jelly Beans. 

Call it sacrilegious (I prefer “sacrilicious!”), but I like Starburst Jelly Beans better than Jelly Bellies. What they lack in variety they more than make up in consistency. Because you’re lying if if you say you like Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellies, that shit is NAST. TRUST ME, I AM A CANDY EXPERT. 

The whole reason for this post is I bought some Starburst Jelly Beans on Friday night and they’re gone now and holy shit do I want more Starburst Jelly Beans. 

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Posted 2 years ago

I HAVE STARBURST JELLYBEANS!