Posts tagged serial killer lol

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Posted 4 months ago
My Kindle got a new skin. I keep calling it “skinsuit” since you people have made it impossible to stop talking like a serial killer even in my normal human interactions. lol Zoom

My Kindle got a new skin. I keep calling it “skinsuit” since you people have made it impossible to stop talking like a serial killer even in my normal human interactions. lol

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Posted 11 months ago

Tags

Sometimes I search tags of random words that I think will provide interesting results. 

Protip: the results for “revenge” are not so much “interesting” as “viscerally horrifying.” Tumblr is full of skinsuits. 

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Posted 1 year ago

Cabrew

One of my FB friends from high school uses this term all the time. Today I figured out that it meant canoeing with beer. 

Related: it makes me want to quietly murder people. (lol)

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Posted 1 year ago

Serial Killers I Do Not Love Like I Love The Green River Killer

lazybookreviews:

Fuckin’ Dennis Rader.   You know, the BTK killer out of Wichita? 

Not. My. Favourite.

First of all, one of his day jobs was Overzealous Animal Control Officer, in that sort of “oh, your twelve year old Golden Retriever was briefly off its leash so it could poop?  KENNEL TIME” sense.

Strike one!

Then, you know how the Green River Killer basically stopped killing people because he fell in love and no longer felt a GAPING EXISTENTIAL VOID?  Well, it sounds to me like Rader packed it in because killing people just seemed like too much work.  FEEBLE.  FEEBLE EXCUSE.

Also, talk about basically turning yourself in!   First up, attention whore Rader writes the police and is all, I, BTK, also killed THIS person you didn’t think was one of mine!   That person had DNA under their fingernails. 

THEN, Rader, like the loser he is, writes the police and asks if they can trace floppy disks back to their source.

Oh, of course not, the police say.  NO SUCH TECHNOLOGY EXISTS.  Tee-hee!

So fuckin’ Rader takes a floppy disk that he uses for his work at his STUPID CHURCH, OF WHICH HE IS A PILLAR, and sends it to the police with more of his lame self-aggrandizing blather.  So the police basically crack open “Tracked Changes,” or whatever, and it becomes clear that the file was last edited by “Dennis” at STUPID CHURCH OF WHICH HE IS A PILLAR.

So, you know, they KNOW it’s Dennis.  Obviously.

But then they do this, in my opinion, oddly sketchy thing, which is instead of getting what I would imagine to be a fairly straightforward warrant to yank his DNA, they get a warrant to pull his DAUGHTER’S medical records from back when she was a college student, which included a tissue sample for some reason.  And their familial DNA is sufficiently close to the fingernail-evidence to then bust Rader.  

Doesn’t that seem weird?  How would you justify getting access to the completely-innocent daughter’s medical information?   If you could do that, why not get his?  He sang like a canary the minute they picked him up, he wasn’t going to run.

Anyway, he sucks.  Green River Killer for-evah. 

lol

via lazybookreviews
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Posted 1 year ago

“Grenade” by Bruno Mars: SKINSUITY

skinsuity (adj) - possessing the qualities of a serial killer, or someone who would steal your skin and wear it as a suit. Synonyms: creepy, really fucking creepy

I guess “Grenade” is supposed to be sweet or romantic or some shit, but I think it is completely creepy as fuck. Can you imagine if someone that you were NOT interested in told you that they would suffer all manner of pain and mutilation, just for you? Isn’t that sweet? Why are you running? What’s your problem? You know if this was a song by a woman, it would be called “Fatal Attraction” and Glenn Close would be screaming the bridge. 

So anyways, every time I hear the song I hear this version, complete with serial killer lols: 

Darling, I’d catch a grenade for ya (lol lol lol)

Carve your skin with a blade for ya (lol lol lol)

Make your hair a lampshade for ya (lol lol lol)

You know I’d do ANYTHING for ya (lol lol lol) 

Heads up, Bruno. No means no. I don’t care what you’re hiding in that fedora. 

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Posted 1 year ago

filigrees replied to your photo: I see Pedobear has come to visit the neighbors.

yeah right, jayne. some serial killer wannabe you are. you couldn’t properly do anything in a van with that many windows. sorry.

Maybe that’s why I keep getting caught lol

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Posted 1 year ago

I’m glad the post was so popular.

Otherwise I’d have to hurt someone lol

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Posted 1 year ago

Serial Killer Lol

Add “lol” to the end of any sentence and you sound like a serial killer.

  • Hey that’s a really cute picture lol
  • Hey want to hang out sometime lol
  • Yeah I just really want to get your number lol
  • What’s your problem lol
  • I’m just a nice guy and I think you’re overreacting lol
  • I think your hair would look nice as a lampshade lol
  • It puts the lotion on the skin lol